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Pseudolinguist Troll Instruction Manual

1. Come in.
  2. Show a word from your language and a similar one from another, totally unrelated one from the other end of the world. Say they’re related, therefore, the languages are related, too.
  3. Don’t answer questions. Instead, go back to step 2 with two different words.
  4. After repeating step 2 some times, switch to two other languages.
  5. Still don’t answer questions.
  6. Don’t accept linguistics as a science. Science is YOU.
  7. During continuing the process, claim things as nonsensical as possible. For example, try to etymologize Chinese words from Latin letters, giving aside any rumors about Chinese not hearing about Latin letters for several millennia while still speaking.
  8. Get banned.
  9. While thinking what was good in that for you, know people are still joking and laughing about you, but you won’t see it.