Kissy is a novel. One of my two masterpieces. Sometimes I like to talk about it. But it’s written in Hungarian, as all my literary works. So those who don’t understand this language cannot read it. But sometimes I’m asked about it. That’s why I’m writing this book.
Kissy is huge. Still work in progress, its size now exceeds one million words. It won’t be the longest novel in history, but the Beyond One Million Words Club is a small and exclusive company: according to some list found online, it could be the 8th longest novel on the world. Of course, the sheer size has nothing to do with literary value. Just makes it possible to talk about very many things in it, and this made me think about writing this guide.
Kissy is very complex. So there are a lot of things to tell about.
The novel is built up in 31 parts so far. Probably, the final size will be 32 parts, so it’s near to be finished. However, each part consists about 35 thousand words, averaging, so, the size of a P. G. Wodehouse novel.
The main protagonists of the novel are the mice. In the beginning, they aren’t mice yet, they’re everyday schoolkids in France, 2007, living their normal lives and chatting on an online chat forum for kids, the (fictional) Kids Club. They assume the mouse identity later, because they’re fighting with enemies much larger and stronger than they are, and their lives are on the stake – just like with the war of mice and cats.
Kissy is the person whose point of view we are seeing the events from. In the beginning, she is 13 years old, her parents are working round the clock, so she spends a lot of time at the computer, chatting with unknown kids.
Kissy has several online friends. Niala, a girl about her age who loves movies, her nick is Alain Delon’s first name backwards. Mohamed, a younger boy who loves to play soccer. Pi, an older boy. Süni (Hedgehog), another boy. And Nimbostratus who took his name from a rain cloud and explains cloud have Latin names, too.
Kissy took hers from the English word kiss because she is a romantic but shy to write it in French. She’s got a secret crush on her classmate Martin who is after girls all the time.
Later another girl joins, Sheila.
They have good talks. Once, talking about online abbreviations like LOL, Mohamed says there is ROTFL, too, Rolling On The Flour Laughing. Nimbostratus corrects it, floor, not flour. Well, says Kissy, that would be even better, rolling on the flour laughing!
Sometimes other people come, too. One of them is too pushy with the girls, so Nimbostratus kicks it from the channel. Then the boys recommend Kissy to be careful with guys online, especially with IRL data. What’s that? In Real Life, particularly your street address. Why, what could they want from me? Kissy! Strain your fantasy a bit!
Once she is thinking what if she’d try to go out with one of the boys here. She tries with Mohamed, calling him to have ice cream, but no success, he is indifferent, if they go, good, if not, also good. She realizes he is probably too young for this.
Her schoolmate Chantal invites her to the movies, as usual. Sophie Marceau. What, The Party? You’re dumb. Marceau directed it. Okay, they’ll go.
Returning home, she sees no one online, but soon Sheila appears: hi, I’ve got just a little time, can you reach someone near the bois? I’m near the bois, why? Good, I need some help, I’ve left home and no money, I could pay five minutes in a netcafé, I will return it! Okay, come to us, no problem. I can’t leave from here, I came with brother’s scooter and the tank is empty, can you come here? Sure, where are you? Charcot and barrès. My time is over, bye!
Kissy wanted to ask how can she recognize her, but Sheila goes offline. So she takes her wallet and bike. The street ends at avenue du Madrid, which is continued on boulevard Commandant Charcot. She can be in minutes, but no girl with scooter. She goes to the Muette. Some trucks, a big camion. A tubby man steps out from behind the camion. Did you come for your friend? She is in the car, crying, he points inside the cargo bay. Kissy goes up there. Large containers, then the end of the area. She turns around, there is the man, grinning. Where is she? She is rolling in the flour laughing, he says still grinning, then he tries to catch her. He pushes her on the floor, and he is upon her, trying to open her pants. She hits his face with her head, with all strength she’s got. He bellows. Then she kicks him between the legs at full force with her right knee. The guy stops bellowing and falls on the floor. Kissy runs out, then rushes home.
Perturbed, she falls in the bathtub, then she goes out the kitchen, famishing. With a lot of food, she goes back in her room. She wanted to call Chantal, but she won’t, it’d be too complicated to explain this to her, she doesn’t know anything about her online life.
She enters the chat. All friends are online. She calls Niala to private chat. But… is she a girl indeed? Sheila wasn’t one. How to recognize online if someone is a girl?
She asks her if she is really a girl. The answer is yes. How old? 13, why? Do you vow you aren’t an adult man? Oh, my goodness, what happened?
She tells Niala the whole story. He was Sheila, not someone just lurking there, he knew the “rolling in the flour laughing”, he could hear that only here. Niala says Nimby should be told, he can track him down.
In a few minutes they assemble in a secret chat room. Pi has a suggestion: they should catch the man before he tries it with someone else. But how, asks Mohamed. We’ll invent how but Kissy must agree. And she’ll need to testify at bar. Süni asks if they have any chance to find him. Where did it happen? Pi says: wait, Kissy, DON’T ANSWER! Please do not give any IRL information. Sorry, kids, but we cannot know if everyone is okay among us. I will take the risk if someone among you may not be a child, and I will give all my personal data to check me. Why you? Because if someone among you is a bad guy I can defend myself easier but probably it won’t be needed. Because I’m an adult.
They’re flabbergasted.
Pi continues. My name is Pierre Jourdain. I’m 22, learning child psychology on Descartes, spending much time with children, that’s why I’m here, too. He tells his street address, too, in Courbevoie.
Niala says that’s nice, but how to prove it? Pi answers if someone calls him it can be proved he is really living there. But it may mean risk for the caller. Niala says okay, she is very far away from Paris, so even she can be tracked down. Pi recommends recording the call and play it for the group. She does so. Pi is speaking for a while, then Niala answers: okay, that’s enough, special agent Niala now knows enough! Her voice is clearly a girl, not an adult woman.
Pi sends them a photo of himself, with Nimbostratus written on his arm, because no way he can find a picture on the net with that. Niala asks if he’s got a girlfriend. Unfortunately he has, and there is some age difference, too. She says she can wait.
And now, asks Mohamed, what to do? Is Pi clean and trustful? That’s be an exaggeration, answers Nimbostratus, just we’ve got enough data about him we can hand him over to the police for any wrongdoing. That was my purpose, Pi says, and we need to look after Sheila and catch him.
Nimbostratus knows the IP addresses he was using, but he won’t tell where they point to. Why, they ask. Because you guys rush there all, leaving me out, I’m far from there. We may live even farther, says Süni.
Pi recommends to assemble in the city. He will sit down somewhere, at a place visible from far away, and they can see him and go away unrecognized if anything is dodgy. Nimbostratus says this isn’t good, now you are clean but the others aren’t. If you sit on the middle of place Concorde and anyone goes there, they reveal themselves to the others.
You’re right, says Pi. Then we will meet one by one, at different places, check each other, then part immediately. First with Kissy, then she’ll disappear, I’ll go in a netcafé and discuss the next meeting. If everyone is okay we will assemble.
He’ll give his mobile number. Kissy asks how they’ll know he is himself when calling from the netcafé? Oh, I won’t reach this chat room from there, right? You will if I’ll let you in, says Nimbostratus, but for that, I have to be at home and know you are you.
Then it’ll be easier, says Pi, to call everyone in a private window and we’ll set a password.
Okay, says Nimbostratus, and let Kissy choose the password.
Kissy chooses it. The Party was directed by Sophie Marceau.
Niala immediately knows it was directed by Claude Pinoteau. That’s why is it a good password, says Nimbostratus.
Pi calls her in private chat to agree in their meeting. She should choose a location she can reach easily but not too close to her. She looks in Google Maps. Courbevoie, boulevard de Verdun crosses the Seine, then de Gaulle, the metro station… What are you travelling with?
Pi realizes he missed it, changes back to the group and gives a description of his brother’s white Citroën Xantia, including the license number. Kissy recommends the crossing of avenue Charles de Gaulle and avenue de Madrid, there’s a park there. Pi says okay, in half an hour he will sit there. In the common window he describes his clothing, too. He will read a book and won’t look up. You guys shan’t tell what you’ll be wearing, what direction will you come from, on foot or by bike, nothing.
Niala is sorry for not being able to be there.
Kissy is dressing up carefully and riding anxiously to the place. It’s not a rendezvous, actually, but somehow it is. She notices the white Citroën parking beyond the roundabout, then finds Pi, too, dressed as described. Everything is right. Then she writes a few words down and chooses a little boy among the ones running around. Do you want ten cents? See that guy with the red cap there? Give him this paper. The kid reads it. “Who directed The Party?” Is this some password? It is, Kissy laughs. Then twenty cents. Good, give it back, there are well many kids here who carry it for ten. The boy goes away, then returns with the paper added the words: “Sophie Marceau, who else?” and signed: 3.14.
Kissy goes there and sits down beside Pi, embarrassed. He hands over all his papers, identity card, driving license, even the car registration while it isn’t his car. You don’t even know my real name, says Kissy. And I don’t want to, no one of you, best not to tell it to each other. So, I have to go. And what should I do? Disappear. You know what? I will go first, you’ll see me to cross the bridge, that’s a one-way for me, I can turn back on the other side only, then you’ll be far away.
She gives him her phone number. Pi records it as dr. Moreau, to be safe in case his phone would be stolen. Then she begins riding on the streets. After a while, an SMS is beeping: “S OK P”. So he checked Süni and he is okay.
On a street, a big African man and a little white boy are coming. Kissy presses the brake. She’s got a thought. She begins looking for a netcafé.
Soon she finds a library. There are two free computers. Kissy sits there, calls Niala and tells her the password. Listen, I have a thought. You saw a lot of movies, maybe you remember. Once I saw a movie, there was a big African man with a little white boy, taking care of him, and teaching him boxing. Do you remember? That may be the First Kid. The kid is the son of the president of the United States, and the guy is his bodyguard. That’s it, can you get the cast? That’s what IMDB is for, but why? There was a guy in it who shot at the kid and hit the bodyguard. That guy is the spitting image of Sheila!
Timothy Busfield, says Niala, looking for an photo, but can’t find one from that movie, and in other movies his face is totally different. Oh, this is a library, wait.
They don’t have the movie. The librarian recommends The American President instead, but she just shakes her head. She needs this film, actually, just a frame. What frame, asks the librarian. One with the bad guy, in premier plan. The librarian is looking at her for a while, then takes her to another room. They sit down. Normally I’m saying sorry, I can’t help, but as I see you’ve got some trouble. I do, snaps Kissy, then apologizes, she may be nervous. It may help to tell it to a stranger, says the librarian. I’m stranger enough, even if tell you I’m madame Beaumont. I’m Kissy, she says without thinking, I mean… No problem, that’s good. So, what’s the matter, and why do you need a frame of that movie?
The phone beeps. Kissy looks at it with a smile. “M OK P.”
Because that actor in that movie is very much resembling the creep who tried to rape me.
Madame Beaumont asks practical questions instead of showing sorrow, feeling Kissy wouldn’t like it. Kissy tells her everything, beginning from the chat. But meeting a strange man whom you didn’t see yet… But we checked him. Yes, and didn’t you think to call Descartes if this Pierre is actually learning there? No. Wait. The madame calls a number she knows by heart and asks a man she knows if Pierre Jourdain is in their register. He says he knows him by sight. Kissy tells the street address, the birth date, the name of his mother, and the license number of his brother’s white Citroën Xantia… well, says the man, we don’t register whose car are their students using, but if they want to make knowledge on him he recommends asking a teacher. While he is searching the madame calls another number, a librarian she also knows, and asks her if they have the movie. And she needs a frame of it. While madame Santini is working on it, madame Beaumont switches back to Gustave who spoke to professor Villiers who said he is a very nice young man, the grandson of an old friend of his, but… What’s matter? So… he’s got a girlfriend. They laugh, she thanks the information and hangs up with him. Madame Santini sends the photo by email, Kissy is looking at it. Isn’t that him? He is… just he isn’t as well resembling as I remembered. At least you can show the others how does he look like, roughly. Madame Beaumont prints the photo. How much do I owe you, madame? Well, let me say, you owe me that if your Pierre Jourdain is calling you won’t go with him to catch the bad guy. Don’t you trust him, asks Kissy. That doesn’t count, you are taking the risk, not me. But what else could I do, madame Beaumont? Well, I’ve got an idea.
Finally, Pi is calling to set a meeting. Nimby is okay, too. Kissy gives him the address of the library. Pi will bring Nimby, he’ll call Mohamed, and Süni needs to be called by chat, he’s probably at home now. He is. Kissy invites him to the library. In a quarter of an hour, a taxi halts outside, and someone enters the library.
You?…
You?…
It is Martin. His classmate.
Are you… Kissy?
She can only nod.
I am… Süni!
She jumps on his neck.
At six o’clock, the white Citroën arrives. Pi enters with Nimby… the kid she thought to be some 15-16 years old, may be at most 12. A plumpish little guy with eyeglasses and brown hair, with a big backpack. How old are you, Süni asks. 29, he says. Years spent online count four times, and I’m on it since six. Kissy is good enough at math to calculate he is 11 then.
They’re introducing themselves to madame Beaumont, and Pi hands over his identification. The lady doesn’t open it. Instead, she asks a question about his parents. His mother died four years ago, his father is a lawyer in Toulon, both he and his grandfather are in the phone book.
The madame asks what’ll they do now. First we’re waiting for Mohamed, says Nimby, I’m curious for the surprise Pi told me.
And Mohamed arrives, grinning at Pi familiarly. He can’t be older than Nimby. He’s wearing jeans, a green T-shirt, now removing his baseball cap, and short blond hair is under it. There isn’t anything special with him – except that he is a girl.
Geez, says Nimby. You are a girl!
Thanks for the information, she says.
The white Citroën arrives to Coeuilly at eight o’clock, after a vote they’ll come here tonight, no matter how late they’ll get him. Kissy states no matter an IRL data it is, his father is abroad for a week and her mother is at a business negotiation. And the cat, asks Niala; the library has got Skype, Niala installs the program and they can talk by voice. We haven’t got a cat, Kissy says. I’ll send one, they’ll be born soon.
Nimby says he just needs to phone home and no problem. Süni says he doesn’t even need to phone, his parents trust him. Mohamed shrugs the shoulders, if she doesn’t get home all night probably no one will notice.
That’s why you guys are always on the internet, says the lady, reproachingly.
She can’t be with them, leading the library alone, but at least Niala will have company.
Kissy calls her, they’ve arrived, she’ll call again in a few minutes. Nimby opens his backpack and takes out two telescopes, a little spray bottle, and a big switchblade knife. What do you want with that, asks Pi. To protect you, Nimby says. You are the only adult here. If the bloke catches one of us and violates the criminal code, you’ll be responsible for bringing us, innocent children, to a dangerous place. But if I make a hole on the joker’s skin, I will be responsible, the child. Clear?
He gives another knife to Süni. Pi is against bringing them. They don’t want to bring him down but to give him to the police. Then do it, says Nimby, while he is hitting the wall with your head. Unfortunately, I haven’t got more guy-slicers, but – he looks at Mohamed – you said you’ll bring a baseball bat. I brought better, she says, pointing at her legs and hands. Last year I sent down a guy who was taller than Pi and twice as thick. Pi is tall enough and not very skinny. Mohamed barely reaches his waist. Why? He wanted to flee from a store without paying. Owner is a good acquaintance, I couldn’t let him. But there was no problem, he was soon out of the hospital.
They laugh. Mohamed likes to say big things on the chat, too. Well, says Pi, I thought no need to be armed. I’ll ring and have a bit of talk with him. Kissy will stand aside to identify him. If he is that, we’ll let him go back and call the police.
Not bad, Nimby says, but having some self-defense is useful. It is, Pi admits, but I’ll stand at the dangerous place, and I won’t have any.
No win, says Mohamed. I will stand there. I’m using my head! You’ll ring and have some small talk, and then? Kissy identifies him, and then? Then we call… I know, the police. They’ll arrest him, take him to court and convict him, without any proof, really?
Kissy has to… And her word is against the guy, adds Mohamed. Is there any injury on Kissy? Or on the bloke, any injury that can come only from Kissy? So, what’s that great plan? Catch him, and look him being set free?
Wait, wait, wait, Nimby calms her. What else could we do? We can’t go to do bloke saying sorry, unfortunately your afternoon atrocity didn’t make traces, please be so kind to attack again…
Mohamed is sneering at them mockingly.
It’s very simple, she says. It’ll be a bullseye hit if a meek girl child will ring. He knows Kissy, we didn’t bring madame Beaumont along, you guys aren’t enough feminine, it’s me. I’ll call a story I’m lost, will he please call me a taxi. If we’re lucky he’ll grab me into the house.
Is that luck for you?!
For me it is. I’ll wait him to throw me down, I will begin to damage him only after.
They laugh at the little girl fantasizing about beating up an adult man.
Okay, says Pi, enough. And he puts his hand on her shoulder friendly. Suddenly some elementary force catches his arm and twists it back. Good, smart ass, then make yourself free now. He reaches his other arm, but she catches that one, too. Now I can pull out your leg and you’ll fall. Oh, did I mention I’m learning combat sports?
Pi gets a brick piece he can break a window with, and jump in. Süni is watching at the other side. Nimby and Kissy are recording from behind trees, Kissy is using Pi’s phone as camera, and talking to madame Beaumont with her own.
Mohamed rings the door, and a man looks out. He is that, says Kissy. Mohamed delivers her story. Of course, says Sheila, come in. Kissy feels as if having two heads. Either one is disgusted of the view of the man, and the other one is grinning. You aren’t disturbing, says the man, my wife likes guests. Finally he grabs Mohamed into the house and snaps the door shut. Kissy alarms madame Beaumont. They run there. Mohamed asked for 30 seconds to reveal what does the guy want.
After 30 seconds, Pi breaks a window and Süni destroys the door lock with the brick. Pi climbs in the window and they run into the hall.
When they get a sight, Mohamed is kicking the kneeling man on the face, whose noise is bleeding.
Hi, Sheila, says Kissy. Now don’t you want rolling on the flour laughing?
Police and paramedics arrive, they take Sheila to a hospital, handcuffed, with a policeman. A young sergeant records their oral evidence, copies the audio record made by Mohamed, and they all are driven home. Unfortunately, Kissy arrives home at the same time with mom who is seeing her getting off from the police car.
I thought once you’ll be brought home by the police, she says. What did you do?
Good evening, ma’am, I’m corporal Meunier. Congratulations for your daughter. They caught a guy ugly enough, with her friends. We’ll host him for a longer while once he gets out from the hospital, but that won’t be tomorrow, that little girl Mahomet beat him up very much. If you see madame Beaumont will you please tell her the son of the oyster Meunier is greeting her? She’ll know. Good night, ma’am, good night, Kissy.
It takes an hour to tell mom everything. Who is “little girl Mahomet”, who is madame Beaumont, and why did the policeman call her Kissy. They had to tell the police their real names so they now know it, but still using the nicks.
They meet again at the computer that night. They talk till midnight, even Pi doesn’t say they should sleep. They must process this experience. Finally they part, Kissy and Martin remains last. They talk a bit in two. She doesn’t know what to think. It’s good to talk with him, but she’s got no idea what would she say in real life, if the others weren’t be there, neither if she was head over ears in love, nor if not. Currently she doesn’t know which one is the case.
Next morning, as she steps out the house, a young man halt her, saying she is looking for a girl living in this house who caught a criminal yesterday. It’s me, says Kissy hastily, are you a policeman? The guy takes a camera. I’m Bizet from Soir [Evening], he says, and begins shooting photos, we want a big article, tell me please how did it happen when…
Hey! Leave me alone!
Readers love stories like this, says the reporter. Don’t be such a grumbling bear…
A fantastic idea, Kissy guesses brightening up. Okay, I will give you an interview, monsieur Debussy, but I must reach to the school.
Okay, we can talk walking, he says.
Kissy takes out her bicycle from the storage. Then come along, monsieur Vangelis.
The guy rushes to his car. He lags behind in the morning traffic while she can run freely on the sidewalk. He reaches the school by only a minute delay, laughing. Kissy smiles and goes in, he following. Kissy sees a big man in the crowd, goes to him and smacks at his back by her full strength, when the reporter reaches there. She steps aside, and director Mondiot, by nickname, Grumbling Bear, looks directly at the reporter.
Who are you?!
This is monsieur Tchaïkovsky from Nuit, says Kissy helpfully. He made photos of me, and…
Grumbling Bear is grumbling. A person obviously using a fake name, from something called Night, walking in a school, photographing schoolgirls, and hitting him on the back. He pushes him into his office and interrogates. Looking at his ID he says: Hey, this is a reporter of Soir and the name is Bizet, not Tchaïkovsky.
Kissy is apologizing. I’m sorry… I mistook both the composer and the time of the day, but I was confused… as he began photographing…
Grumbling Bear pushes her out. It is school time, go to the class!
Running on the corridor, Kissy finally has a good laugh.
After class, Mondiot meets her and with a friendly laugh he says it was a good trick. He recommends giving the guy an interview. Tell everything, and no one remembers the whole thing in three years. But if you are behaving mysteriously, they may come in swarms, smelling a big story, even invent one themselves. Kissy tells Süni. Seeing them talking, Chantal gets suspicious. She was having chances with Martin, and she thought Kissy is her friend. While she is scolding Kissy, Martin steps there, saying: Sorry, Chantal, but we have to discuss something with Kissy. Chantal is lost, Martin obviously didn’t notice himself, but he called her Kissy, but Chantal never heard this name.
They arrange a virtual press conference. Chantal is there, too, sitting beside Kissy, after they’ve told her what’s happening. She sits on the old chair dad wants to repair the leg of, before it breaks out. At the other side of the table is Martin, with mom’s laptop.
The conference begins with some rules announcement by Pi, about the strict incognito of the children, then they tell the whole story, and finally the reporters ask a lot of questions.
Some calm days go. They arrange a great weekend party at Nimby’s place because they are living in a house with garden, there is a guest room, they even can pitch tent. It’s far away, Franconville, rue Louis Sebillon, but she with Chantal and Martin can reach there easily, and Pi, too. Madame Beaumont is living in Levallois-Perret, not very far away. And Mohamed in some suburb Paray-Vieille-Poste, beyond Orly, Pi immediately says he’ll got and drive her.
They cannot arrange Niala’s trip. She says she won’t tell where does she live because then Pi will go for her, too, spending a fortune on gas, and she doesn’t want to travel the whole day. 1600 kilometers. Süni says no place is 1600 kilometers from Paris, just Corse but there’s no road leading there. It’s 800 there and 800 back, Niala answers. So she is living in south France. They can meet only at summertime when there is time for longer trips.
Saturday morning they are in Franconville. They have a map printed, and the house is easy to recognize: a photo of Sophie Marceau is glued on the gate.
Nimby introduces them to his parents. It’s somehow strange to hear his name Antoine, instead of Nimby. The parents are friendly but they don’t know much about internet. Madame Blanchard is a seller in a store, and monsieur Blanchard is the owner of a car repair shop.
Pi arrives with madame Beaumont, now called madame Ange, and Mohamed. And soon after, when they’re talking about madame Ange’s grandchildren, the doorbell rings. A girl enters. Long blond hair, white cap, backpack. Hi, she says, I’m looking for Kissy’s. I was send by Sophie Marceau, director of The Party.
Kissy jumps up, rushes there and jumps on Niala’s neck.
But how did you get here, they ask.
Niala scratches her head carewornly. Such a forgetfulness… Did I forgot to tell you my father is an Air France pilot?!
And did he fly home?
Not really. He is in Bordeaux now, and we live near Nice. But everyone knows me on domestic Air France flights. I just took one.
Kissy is very happy. During lunch, her happiness cools a bit. She doesn’t understand why doesn’t she like Niala is the favorite of the company, firstly of the boys. Later Niala arranges to be in two with her and tells her her situation recognition doesn’t work. Yes, the boys like Niala, the novelty. They like Kissy, too, just she didn’t notice. Süni is always watching her. That’s not true, Süni favors Chantal… No, he doesn’t, and neither Niala, Martin is a serious guy, doesn’t go after girls who aren’t interested in him. He is behaving in the school as he thinks he is expected to.
Really you aren’t interested in him, asks Kissy.
No, he is nice and everything, but I have my choice.
Suddenly Kissy understands.
Pi?!
Don’t shout, right?!
He is really a handsome guy… but he is a real man!
And? Do you think I won’t grow up? I need to wait two or three years, but…
He’s got a girlfriend.
And? I’m going out with someone, too. Seriously, I allowed him to do something I didn’t allow to any boy yet.
What?
Niala laughs.
To boast the whole school he is going out with Nicole D’Aubisson, the dream of all boys.
Mohamed is longing for the feeling when she was beating that guy but Chantal is afraid she can’t beat him again ever. So do you think it a good idea, too? Goodness, what? If I can’t beat up Sheila anymore, another one to be beaten is needed. There are many creeps, aren’t there?
They are returning to her idea when on the chat again. She says they could found a club to hunt for such guys. Meanwhile they’re planning the summer vacation. Pi is planning to go home to Toulon with his girlfriend, then abroad. Niala is preparing to America with her parents, they’ve got relatives there. Mohamed won’t be on holiday. Nimby’s got adult siblings, he’ll be with one of them. Kissy’s and Süni’s parents are businesspeople, it’ll be unknown till the last minute how can they arrange. Chantal is going to be with relatives or not, who knows.
But on a Wednesday something makes them to think Mohamed’s idea over.
Pi, Nimby, Süni and Kissy is online when Süni calls them to the public room. Kissy follows, and reaches beyond the monitor for her glass of coke. The chair is creaking, it should be replaced…
It’s Cindy12, says Süni, claims to be a 12 years old girl but the style isn’t like it. They make an ambush, Kissy enters with another account called Anne12. They’re talking about movies, and Anne12 says she didn’t watch Die Hard 4.0 yet. Cindy12 offers lending it. They are grinning in the other window. A personal meeting? Come on!
Anne offers 3 o’clock at the Reuilly-Diderot metro station, a place she doesn’t know at all but she claims it to be close to her. Cindy says she can’t go before 5. Sure, Nimby says, because she needs to go through to whole city, she is in a netcafé on quai maréchal Joffre!
Then I go, says Pi, that’s two corners from me! Kissy, is the phone at hand?
Kissy jumps up, rushes out, rushes in and lumps down on the chair which is creaking sufferingly. Yes, it is!
Pi is calling soon. No kid in the netcafé, some six people. I should identify our man, I’m going to walk around and peek their monitors. They will switch to another window, says Kissy. Right, another idea?
Nimby has one. A smiley waving a flag. At a sign, he will throw six of it. It may lighten something near the monitor.
Pi goes back and watches. Suddenly, yellow, blue, white, red, a little yellow face is waving the French flag, clearly mirroring on the eyeglasses of a guy.
Hi, Cindy Twelve, he goes there. I am Pierrot from Kids Club. Remember? You are reading Yahoo? Look, the back button is working…
Kissy is reporting everything in the public room, Süni and Nimby is answering the questions of strangers.
You know, Cindy, on the net, not everyone is what they are claiming to be. There are ugly liars. Some of us become suspicious if you are a 12 years old. So I came here to ask you. Tell me, Cindy: are you a 12 years old girl?!
Silence.
I’m glad you didn’t say yes. I should pull your mustache. So, it’s not forbidden for a forty-something man to say he is a schoolgirl. It’s legal – just ugly. Bothersome questions may follow. So I recommend to say farewell, go to the waiter, pay your bill and disappear. Oh, our conversation is recorded.
Silence, then some noise. Okay, says Pi, he is quitting.
Victoryyyyyy!, Nimby exclaims.
Kissy writes down the last words, then throws herself back, laughing.
The leg of the chair cannot stand anymore. It breaks off, and she is falling.
Her head may be centimeters from the floor when Martin jumps up and catches her. And then follows the long, loving kiss which every romantic movie has at the
However, they rather feel it a beginning.
Two weeks later. Now Kissy has got information about Niala’s and Chantal’s experiences on kissing. There is some congestion on Kissy’s table, mom’s laptop, Nimby’s old computer brought here, trays with pizza. They are talking everyday and meeting every second or third day, except with Niala. Kissy’s room is big enough to gather, but Martin’s isn’t, Nimby and Mohamed are living too far away, and Pi’s place is not recommended because if several children meet at him regularly the neighbors may become suspicious, due to the lot of shindy.
This word is Mohamed’s portmanteau from Sheila and Cindy. It means a man who pretends to be a child online, to gain access to children, and simply one who has got suspicious plans with children.
Kissy wants to look up for how old needs the girl to be to avoid problems when found together with an adult man. Not because of the shindies. Because of Niala and Pi, since she will come to Paris time to time to meet them, and until she reaches the age limit they shan’t be left alone.
They’re keeping several windows of the Kids Club open and checking the public chats.
Mohamed’s idea is to hunt for shindies, they should do that because they’re children, therefore they know better than any adult what would a child fall for. And we can fall, she adds with a bloodthirsty face, then when he feels to be at target, catch him.
Ten days before finishing school year, Niala presents great news. A monsieur Moretti’s dog passed away recently.
And?
And this Moretti was so sad that a business partner of his presented him with a puppy.
Great. And they’re living happily ever…
Stop it! While they watched the puppy wagging his tail, Moretti and the partner invented a plan about some machine parts.
What breed?
Got no idea, but if you allow me to finish it I promise I will ask it for you. So these two will be very busy for a few weeks. So the business partner asked a cousin please come a little later. The cousin said no problem, my daughter was bugging me with a plan for the summer, then we will do that first. Now. The daughter is me, and the plan is to invite you guys to us.
Niala can guess Kissy’s thoughts always. They have a private talk when Kissy asks how will Niala feel seeing them kissing. Why, when in Paris, aren’t they kissing? If I don’t invite the girl Pi may not come either, and the group isn’t complete without him. And what do they do together is their business. We are adults. Kissy is stunned. We aren’t adults! No, but it sounds cool.
I don’t want to seduce him, she adds. If it succeeds he will end up in jail. I don’t want that. He shall live with the girl for two happy years, then he shall discover how more admirable I am. But not till that.
Pi is invited to Kissy’s place, to get acquainted to her parents, who are still calling her Françoise, but beginning to use Kissy. She’s got a feeling as if her parents are worried if Pi is planning to sleep with Kissy during the vacation. Niala says if it’s not their only problem it’s not dangerous.
They don’t know anything about Mohamed’s family yet. Once Pi asks if he should talk to her parents, too, but she just shrugs it off. You don’t want to stay home, do you? No answer, so Pi goes to the other room with her. Niala can guess what’s her problem. She is wearing only a few pieces of clothing, old, worn ones. So are they poor, asks Nimby. You said you’ll pay for everything. Chantal informs him it’s a problem if she hasn’t got a piece to wear. Aren’t these good, he asks. Niala explains it. I believe you are cool to go anywhere in any wear. But for a girl it does count how does she look like, on a vacation on the Côte d’Azur. Nimby looks at them in dismay. So, is Mohamed a girl?!…
They have a good laughter. As if it wasn’t Nimby who said at their first meeting: “You are a girl!” But Mohamed is really different from the average girl, of course Nimby doesn’t take her one.
Then Kissy suddenly thinks both Mohamed and Nimby are eleven years old. A year or two and Nimby will be very aware she is a girl, even, it may be her most important feature for him. No matter how hard to see it, Mohi is a pretty girl, and if becoming shapely… it’s possible he won’t ask such a question, not even for a joke.
Pi comes back after some 20 minutes, alone. Mohi went for some pastries, he says. We thought it better if I’ll tell it. So. Vanessa has got no family. She was left in the hospital when she was born. She used to live in an orphanage, then with fosterers, but now with the third couple. They’re raising her for two years, but they aren’t well with each other, nor with her. She receives food and shelter, that’s all.
We are all of her friends. The football team she is often mentioning is simply street kids, always different ones. No one takes care after her. She is learning martial sports from a Japanese man living around. She got the computer and the net account from a foundation. She’s got no milk money, so I suppose she met us the first time by stealing from her foster parents for the taxi.
They have to solve a problem: she needs to have some clothings appropriate for the vacation, but she won’t accept money, a self-respecting kid. Kissy decides she will do it. When Mohi returns with the cakes, she tells her: you know Niala is my best friend, andshe planned everything, we can’t ruin her dream. So you must come and feel well. It doesn’t count whose money.
Vanessa doesn’t say a word, just nods yes.
They raise the money, everyone brings a hundred. Mohamed, Kissy and Chantal are going shopping. They walk around in several store. Mohamed is like a puppy, running around and sniffing, she’s never been to such places.
In either store, a security mistakes her for a street child and tries to throw her out, and she hits him. When Kissy and Chantal rush there, the security is on the floor, and a stern lady is approaching. What happened? Chantal tells her about the scene in Pretty Woman when a woman in cheap clothes enters a store and is thrown out, and next day it’s revealed she’s got heaps of money.
It’s hard to persuade Mohi to accept pieces with feminine character, but finally she agrees to try a light blue dress and a hair ribbon. They buy the latter one.
When they go to the checkout the stern lady is nearby. Suddenly, Mohi she would like to pay, and asks what is the name of Kissy’s father. €95.70 is the bill, with delivery. She opens her wallet and throws out the whole bunch of banknotes. Professor Jean-Jacques Chaton academician, university teacher, 9 rue de Bois de Boulogne, she says in a very snob mood.
Finally they can go!
They all gather at Orly where a girl asks how can she help. Pi says. “Dog! Flaps to 20 degrees!” The password works, they’ve got tickets reserved.
While waiting, Kissy asks what did Mohi’s foster parents say about the travel. Nothing. Isn’t it possible to change them? I can ask to be taken away from them, but it may be a long while to find another place. Before going to them, I spent half a year in a home.
On the plane, they meet Niala’s father Georges, whom Kissy imagined a tall, handsome, mustached man, resembling Tom Selleck, and he is exactly that.
They introduce Niala to Pi’s girlfriend Angélique, an astronomy student. Niala tells the secret of the password. Once upon a time a colleague of her father was visiting them, and a Leonberger of another colleague was sleeping in the garden. A horribly huge dog. He was watching the large dog coming to him and found it too fast, so exclaimed: “Hey dog! Slower! Flaps to twenty degrees!”
From the airport, they travel with an old Volkswagen van, lent by Niala’s uncle. The landscape is beautiful. The airport is on a peninsula reaching into the sea. The sky is bright, the sea is blue, with little white ships all around. They’re going on the shore, through all the city of Nice, then Mont Boron, Villefranche-sur-Mer, and running up on the hills: Beaulieu-sur-Mer.
Niala’s house is in a small cul-de-sac on the hills, a real mediterranean seashore villa. But it’s smaller than they thought. Two floors, but small. Niala looks frightened. Oh, I gave my word everyone will have an own room, didn’t I? She counts them one by one as if not knowing the number yet. Then she leads them through the garden, to a gate with a digit lock, and there is a bigger garden and a bigger house. Niala opens a door and there is a fat lady.
Hi, aunt Isabelle, is there some place for these good wanderers?
Of course, the rooms are ready, says the lady in a dialect hard to understand. Welcome. I’m Isabelle Girotti, and this is Pension Terence Hilton. Because my husband is named Mario Girotti, just like actor Terence Hill.
They have seven rooms in a row. Two beds pushed together, a cupboard, a small table, a washbasin. One or two stars, Kissy was in luxury hotels, too, so she knows, but everything is bright with cleanness.
Later Niala tells them the brother of aunt Isabelle was Jacques Claudel, and his daughter is Blanche Claudel, Niala’s mother, a dentist. There is a grey-haired man, Mario Girotti, utility man Luigi and chambermaid Jeanne. Everyone else is a relative, in both streets.
Niala’s house and the pension are standing near the end of two cul-de-sacs. They are ending in a strip of forest, and gardens. The hill is like a maze, especially for someone like Niala who is a relative of everyone and can go through the gardens everywhere. They meet a lot of locals everyday, Niala introduces them, and go.
The whole place is lovely and romantic. Kissy loves it and compares how different it is from all the places she and the others are living at. And she notices Mohi barely says a word now since they arrived.
She can only understand it much later, when seeing the fireworks, then does she realize Mohi immediately fell in fatal love with Beaulieu-sur-Mer, the sea, the hill, the trees, the D’Aubisson villa, the pension, Niala and her parents, aunt Isabelle, Jeanne, even with taciturn Luigi. And only a long while does Vanessa tell her that after returning to Paris, she dreamed about Beaulieu every night.
They’re having a good time on the beach. They go somewhere every other day, once to Monaco, small, packed and very noble, and Georges says once in a lifetime one can try gambling with no risk. You can look how does the most famous casino of the world look like and you can tell how large a fortune did you gamble away. He exchanges 100 euro and hands it out. Who wins something will keep it.
The 30 wins. The bets lose, except one. Kissy is viewing Mohi flabbergasted, who is also flabbergasted. Pi quickly takes the tokens pushed there by the croupier. If you leave it there it will go to play again. 27 wins. And the croupier pays 700 euro because 20 was mistakenly left on the 27.
Two days later they go to the mountains. It’s Sunday, Blanche is with them, too. While driving, Niala takes a little model airplane and shows them how does the airplane fly. You’ll need this knowledge. She tells them about ascensional force, weight, throttle and wind resistance, then about yoke, rudder, roll, pitch and yaw. Finally, Pi raises two fingers. Yes, student Jourdain? Teacher please, why did you hold this lecture? Why did I? Because we’ll right at the airport and you guys’ll be flying an airplane.
A little airport among the mountains. Some hangars and an office building, before that a pickup with two young men playing cars on it. They say hello and start talking in the local dialect which Kissy can hardly understand. Either one invites them for tomorrow evening, for Yvonne’s birthday. Jacqueline says she’ll cook the soup you liked last time.
When did she say? asks a voice near Blanche.
The guy looks at Mohi and shrugs his shoulder. Wednesday or Thursday, why?
Talk to her again, says a confident Mohi. Yesterday she told Claudette she couldn’t buy something so she can’t cook.
Don’t worry, she’ll manage it. So, Georges, come over. Have a good flight.
They go along. Kissy doesn’t get a thing. They were together all the time, she met everyone whom Mohi did, but she has got no idea who is Jacqueline, Yvonne and Claudette. And heavens, when did Mohi learn the local dialect?!
Mohi, when did you learn Provençal? asks Blanche.
What?
The language you talk with Bernard.
So was he Bernard? I didn’t know which one is Bernard and which one is Jules.
Kissy drops her jaw. She is sure they saw both guys the first time in their life.
I didn’t know this is a foreign language, says Mohi, I just tried to speak his way.
It was perfect, Blanche and Niala answers in choir.
Kissy is stunned. She was wondering about the way the locals speak and didn’t understand it better than anyone of them. Did Mohi learn it in a week?! How? She said she was never beyond the nearest vicinity of Paris. And where is that well-informedness that she knows everyone?
In the rest of the vacation, she is getting understanding piece by piece. Mohi doesn’t collect information deliberately, just they stick in her head. As Kissy begins observing Mohi she realizes she also did, probably, hear Jacqueline speaking to Claudette, but not knowing the names of the locals she didn’t remember. Mohi did.
She realizes only much later that Mohi unconsciously sucked into herself everything that belongs to Beaulieu, like a little sponge.
On a day, Kissy is laying sunbathing on the beach when Martin’s voice sounds:
The Party was directed by Sophie Marceau.
She nods, this is the password. A moment. This is the password, but why does he say that?
They saw a guy suspiciously watching little children who are bathing naked. They check the guy. He is still suspicious, but they’re doubtful. They want to be sure.
They christen him Sylvie, because obviously his name is different, so they can talk about him even in his hearing range. After observing him for a while on the beach, they follow him to the Cartier pension. Of course Niala knows the owner so goes in to ask some questions.
Meanwhile, they’re talking about Saturday evening, Blanche and Georges invited them to celebrate, let’s be dressed elegant. The boys didn’t pack anything elegant, the girls did, except for Mohi who doesn’t care. Pi doesn’t want to buy a full suit, he’s got one in Paris and one in Toulon. Mohi says Roger has a similar stature, and Ninette’s husband Jean-Jacques, too. And probably Joachim as well.
But who are they, asks Nimby, who didn’t notice yet Mohi is learning Beaulieu as if she should be take an exam of it. Roger is Ninette’s cousin, she says, and Joachim is Roger’s sister’s boyfriend. But who is Ninette?! You met her, too, Thursday morning. She said: “Now I’m going, Isabelle, bye.” Then the aunt said: “Bye, Ninette.” So you can know her name.
Kissy is beginning to understand. Mohi is storing every tiny piece of information. Some time she heard who is Ninette, who are the others, how are they related, where are they living, what are they doing. But what will be assembled at the end of the day? Will she be walking on the streets of Paris with a miniature copy of Beaulieu in her head?
Niala returns and says Sylvie is Danish. His name is K. Hendriksen. He is living alone, paying every Monday. He didn’t tell how long will he stay but he paid this Monday, too, so he’ll stay at least till next Monday.
Except if he feels being chased and runs, says Nimby.
Sure, Niala says. We must be clever and he won’t see Amalienborg again for years.
Unless from the prison window, says Mohi, enthusiastically.
They go to Françoise Laval who is working in that pension. She is living on the peninsula, of which they know only there is a little town named Saint-Jean-Cap-Ferrat. Niala goes in to talk. Meanwhile, they look around, walking. Pi makes a wrong step on a stone, injuring his foot. Niala calls, they tell her what happened, and she says she’ll bring help. Soon she arrives, driving the van. “Did you break it?!” Pi doesn’t think his foot was broken, but Niala insists on taking him to America to a doctor. She says she knows she mustn’t do this, but necessity knows no law. Françoise can’t drive, neither can Angélique, there is no one nearby who can and is now at home. So she does it, however for the first time out on the street.
They arrive at dr. Lester’s office, in America indeed. The office is ornamented with American city and landscape photos, including a large one of the World Trade Center towers, framed in black, with a bouquet below it. The doctor, speaking broken French, does an examination, including an X-ray. Then he is watching scowling Niala sitting behind the steering wheel. “Have you got a license?” “Stop it, Bill! If you believe it’s easy for me to drive this heavy van you’re mistaking, but I’m the only one who can do it and it’s three kilometers yet.” “I see. I can’t leave the office but I’ll tell Jean-Paul, okay?” Niala hits the road. A policeman comes soon, Niala halts, the policeman looks at them and asks what happened, he didn’t get what was doc Lester saying. So he is Jean-Paul. Niala makes him sit to the wheel and take them home.